Zooginger

Dashing and dapper Lord Cock-a-snoot here really is a refined, redballed dreamboat. Plucked from the annals of that hotbed of high fashion The Sartorialist, he is - shock horror!- a ginger model parading his wares on the catwalk alongside lantern-jawed normhairs with considerable aplomb. Working a manicured moustache that would cut glass and a pout (Ginger Steel) that could startle a herd of wildebeests, he looks like he has just dropped out of an Evelyn Waugh novel - but this chap is more 'Redhead Revisited' than 'Brideshead Revisited'. Look at his lithe gait, his au courant blazer, his porcelain hands that were chiseled out of....er...porcelin, and most of all his rakish stare, a look that says: "We shall pass the day quaffing vodka gimlets on the lawn, gorging on pigeon terrine, enjoying inebriated games of croquet and then, as evening debuts, I will ravish you with my resplendent womb ferret." Maybe he'll leave out the last bit.

Right: Zooginger walking around looking awesome in cool clothes, cos that's his job.

Archy Marshall

Cherubic redtop whippersnapper Archy Marshall aka Zoo Kid is a Lahndahn scallywag who resembles Tilda Swinton after raiding her grandad's wardrobe with the snarl and swagger of a hungover Joe Jackson and a quiff to make La Roux fire off a cease and desist order. And he's only sixteen which makes him some sort of parallel universe Justin Bieber - a Justin Gingber if you will, who, instead of getting chased by scores of prepubescent, screeching, tweentards, while singing sugary pop earaches, chooses to stand in a room alone with a weird old woman and a dog, crooning in an affected, gruff, growl about a doomed romance with, presumably, some normhaired bint. Y'see, gings do fatalist misanthropy better than anyone else - and sixteen-year-old redballs here has a lot better grip on life's gloomy ability to grind you into the ground than the squarehaired Bieber and his cheery barfpool of wonderment. This Kid's all right.

Below: Zoo Kid ponders what 'Ginger Adonis' is in cockney rhyming slang.